Today is Thursday, December 1st, 2011; Karen's Korner #2204

Last week I included several cute jokes; here is one more (and last!) installment of "365 Clean Jokes" flip-calendar:
 
 
Sunday School teacher:
Now, Charlie, what can you tell me about Goliath?
 
Charlie: Goliath was the man David rocked to sleep.
 
***
 
Passenger:  Are you sure this train stops at San Francisco??
 
Conductor:  If it doesn't, you'll hear an awful splash!
 
***
 
A man was speeding down the highway.
An officer pulled him over and gave him a ticket.
After staring at it, the driver asked,
"When is the raffle?"
 
***
 
Grandma:  Were you a good girl at church today, Missy?
 
Missy:  Yes, I was. When the nice man offered me a whole plate of money,
I said, "No, thank you."
 
***
 
Mom:  Where's your brother?
 
Sam:  Well, if the ice is as thick as he thinks,
he's skating.
But it it's as thin as I think it is,
he's swimming.
 
***
 
Lawyer to defendant:
Do you wish to challenge any of the jury members?
 
Defendant:  Well, I think I could take the guy on the end.
 
***
 
How many missionaries does it take to change a lightbulb?
 
One, and thirty natives to see the light.
 
***
 
Dad:  What happened to your eye?
 
Keith:  I was staring at a ball from afar,
and I was wondering why it was getting bigger and bigger.
Then it hit me.
 
***
 
Swimmer:  Are you sure there aren't any sharks along this beach?
 
Lifeguard:  Oh, yes, I'm sure.
They don't get along well with the alligators!
 
***
 
What did Noah say as he was loading the ark?
 
"Now I herd everything."
 
***
 
Judge:  The last time I saw you,
 I told you I didn't want to ever see you again.
 
Defendant:  I told that to the policeman, but he didn't believe me.
 
***
 
A Sunday School teacher asked her class,
"What did Jesus say about people getting married?
 
Little Johnny quickly answered,
"Jesus said, 'Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do.'"
 
****

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