Today is Thursday, December 9th, 2004; Karen's Korner #434

Christmas! Time for gift giving, note sending, sharing time with family and friends. "It's the most wonderful time of the year," says the lyrics of a Christmas  carol.

And in many to most cases that is true!

In some instances, nothing could be farther from the truth. Sometimes we have to deal with losses. And they glare at this time of the year. We might have a new reality for Christmas 2004:  a new health condition, a broken realationship, a different financial situation, a job loss, a move to another community, loss of a loved one.

A broken family/friend relationship might be the hardest to bear. You know the kind. The one where mom/dad have done nearly everything imaginable to help the young adult, but he/she announces it wasn't enough and they aren't coming home this holiday season, maybe never. Or maybe "ma" and "pa" had no choice but to deny that young person's request because it would hurt them and not help. The 'family will' that was left in a shambles and now the siblings aren't getting along. The once cheerful family celebration is but a memory. A friend misreads your good intentions and lets you (and maybe a good portion of your world) know, in no uncertain terms, what he/she thought of your efforts. Now your calls or notes to correct the situation are not returned.

If your generous heart and spirit are being crushed, remember a thought that I think God gave me a while ago when I bumped into a situation I would like to have changed:  "Hurting people hurt other people."

Why is it that if someone hurts us our immediate reaction is to hurt them back:  unkind words, defending ourselves, telling everyone else of the misdeed done to us. We need to even the score.

This Christmas lets change the scene. If amends can be made, do it.

If that isn't possible, don't allow that other person to continue to hurt you.

A retaliation or grudge holding doesn't work, even if it is justified. Ask God to change the situation or the person who is detracting from your Christmas joy. Ask Him to change you through the situation. Ask God to help you see that other person as He sees him/her. And among other things, ask God to start to change your thought patterns. The kind of thoughts that you can't change on your own.

If you can't change your situation, allow God to change it for you!!

Will every relationship be made over? Made new? Probably not. But how you think and feel about them can be!!


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