I am having fun sharing my thoughts, ideas, others' writings, prayers, Bible verses with you. As a mom of a daughter who lived joyfully, and died too young; at times I would like to share with you some of the things God has taught me through her illnesses and death. I would like to title those day's writings:

 

"....when Merry died....."

 

It was late in the evening of July 9, 1999, that Ed, Merry's husband, called. "Merry is sicker than I have ever seen her," he said. "You have to come!"

 

It had been "quite a year" for the Weld family. Merry had her first shunt surgery since she was 12, at Thanksgiving time the year before; surgery #2 was at Christmas. Jim had emergency heart surgery near my birthday in May of 1999. It was serious enough that they wanted the family there, just in case.... Merry had had surgery #3 near Ed and her 4th anniversary, in June; and #4 had been the day before in July 1999. Doctors had not been convinced that the surgery that day had done what they had hoped for. When we left the hospital shortly after noon on July 9th, Merry seemed to be doing okay. And then came Ed's call several hours after we had returned home.....

 

Every time God was teaching me, to trust Him; to let Him control of things I couldn't control; to always believe; and to live one-day-at-a-time.

 

Jim and I began to toss a few clothes into a suitcase; tie up a couple of loose ends ratherly quickly; and hop into the car for a nearly three hour drive into the darkness toward Cedar Rapids. We talked some. Other times we rode quietly, not saying too much.

 

One of those times, I can recall praying. "This is so hard," I silently told God.

 

And I can recall His response, "No, Karen, it isn't hard. It is impossible."

 

Then pictures started taking shape in my mind like a clip from a video. I saw that most people like to take a leisurely boat ride down the calm river of life. But the Welds' boat was capsized, and the waters were raging. There was a storm with no end in sight. I was in the water.

 

God said, "I am not going to throw you a life preserver and I am not going to teach you to swim. I am going to show you how to walk on water!"

 

"How am I going to do that?" I asked.

 

"You have to keep your eyes on Me," was His reply. "Don't pay any attention to the water ...to the waves, or the storm. Don't look at My hands. Look only at My eyes, My face, and My heart."

 

What I saw was Jesus walking slowly toward me on the water, and His eyes were filled with joy. His face had a faint smile, and His heart was filled with love for me and my family. I knew that if I took my eyes off Him, I would be afraid and like Peter, I would see the storm and begin to drown in the impossibility of the pending situation.

 

I asked God, "How long am I going to have to walk on water?"

 

"The rest of your life!" He said.

 

Must have something to do with Jim and Merry's illnesses, I thought.

 

But I was energized, filled with hope and His power for that supernatural walk, spiritually.

 

When we got to the hospital, Merry was sicker than I had ever seen her. Her surgeon, who was not on call, came to the hospital to stabilize her. And get her comfortable for surgery #5 the next day. Merry's mom was able to "be there" for Merry and the rest of the family, because my focus was not on the dreaded situation at hand, but on Jesus....who calms storms, ease the fears, and delivers us from situations.

 

The next day Merry's surgery was successful and another day or two later she was able to return home to resume the things she liked doing the most.

 

Some might say, "I don't think God talks to people like that any more." Could be.........

 

A counselor might say, "This can be explained away. You were under a lot of stress." Probably right.........

 

When I am on my death bed and if I don't have Alzheimer's, I will tell the same story. I can't explain it; I can only describe it...