Today is Monday, May 18th, 2009; Karen's Korner #1571

A few fun, funny thoughts from the book "Laugh Out Loud", published by Women of Faith. It is written in a Chicken Soup for the Soul style with a portion of the contributions from some of the known speakers such as Sheila Walsh, Luci Swindoll, and Patsy Clairmont.
 
The book is a birthday gift from my friend Pam Winter who had attended the Des Moines Women of Faith event the day before my birthday with several family members. Thanks, Pam!
 
***
 
Mom, It's Catherine
author unknown
 
A teenaged girl had to stay at her girlfriend's overnight. She was unable to call her parents until the next morning.
 
"Mom, it's Catherine. I'm fine. My car broke down last night, and by the time I got to Julie's house it was well past midnight. I knew it was too late to call Please don't be mad at me!"
 
By now, the woman at the other end of the phone realized the caller had the wrong number. "I'm sorry," she said. "I don't have a daughter named Catherine."
 
"Oh, Mom, come on! I didn't think you would be this mad!"
 
***
 
Marriage has no guarantees.
If that's what you're looking for,
go live with a car battery.
 
~ Erma Bombeck
 
***
 
Horse sense is the thing
a horse has
which keeps it from betting on people.
 
~ W.C. Fields
 
***
 
The policeman couldn't believe his eyes when he saw the woman drive past him, busily knitting. Quickly he pulled alongside the vehicle, wound down his window, and shouted, "Pull over!"
 
"No," she yelled back, "they're socks!"
 
***
 
I'm planning on living forever.
So far, so good!
 
~ Author unknown
 
***
 
Divine Call
~ author unknown
 
The pastor's church was called Almighty God Tabernacle. On a Saturday night several weeks ago, the pastor was working late and decided to call his wife before he left for home. It was about 10 p.m., but his wife didn't answer the phone. The pastor let it ring many times. He thought it was odd that she didn't answer, but decided to wrap up a few things and try again in a few minutes. When he tried again she answered right away. He asked her why she hadn't answered before, and she said that it hadn't rung at their house. They brushed it off as a fluke and went on their merry ways.
 
The following Monday, the pastor received a call at the church office, which was the phone that he'd used the Saturday night before. The man he spoke with wanted to know why he'd called on Saturday night. The pastor couldn't figure out what the man was talking about. The caller said, "It rang and rang, but I didn't answer it." Then the pastor remembered the mishap and apologized for disturbing him, explaining that he'd intended to call his wife.
 
The man said, "That's okay. Let me tell you my story. You see, I had been very depressed and was planning to kill myself on Saturday night, but before I did, I prayed, 'God if you're there, and you don't want me to do this, give me a sign right now."
 
The man continued, "At that point my phone began to ring. I looked at the caller ID, and it said, Almighty God.' I was afraid to answer."
 
***

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