Here are two "church humor" stories. The first one is from Jack Burt; I don't know where I got the second one. Enjoy:
Father O'Malley answers the phone; a voice says, "Hello, is this Father O'Malley?"
"This is the IRS. Can you help us?"
"Do you know a Ted Houlihan?"
"Is he a member of your congregation?"
"Did he donate $10,000 to the church?"
A certain very wealthy man had devoted his entire life to 2 things: Making gobs of cash, and exercising an extraordinary gift of giving. He'd built buildings for Christian college, funded hospitals overseas, sent out fleets of missionaries singlehandedly. He still had gobs of cash left over.
As he was approaching death, he bargained with God. "God," he says, "I'm coming home soon. I'm 94 now, and I've lived a full life. I just wondered if, just once, you would let a person bring his wealth to heaven. Can I take it with me???"
God replied, "Well, you have been an especially giving person and I can only say 'well done, good and faithful servant' to you. I'l allow it this one time."
The man left instructions to have his wealth converted to gold upon his death and to have it buried with him.
As the man approached the pearly gates, dragging 2 suitcases full of gold bricks, he was welcomed with open arms. As he entered, 2 heavenly bell hops approached to help the man with his belongings. They were mystified at the weight of the suitcases.
After receiving permission to open a suitcase, they looked at the gold, and then looked at the man. "What's this? You get permission to bring stuff to heaven, and you bring pavement??"