Today is Thursday, January 27th, 2005; Karen's Korner #469

Tomorrow it will by 5 1/2 years since Merry was killed. This is something that I received awhile ago that I thought was especially good. And now is a good time to share it with you.
It seemed like for the first while after she had died that I wanted to talk about her a lot. I didn't want people to forget about Merry; maybe it was me who wanted to remember.
If you know of someone who has lost a loved one....don't be afraid about doing or saying something wrong. Chances are pretty good that you might. The reason:  one hurting person might not be able to talk about their loved; another might want to talk about him/her all the time.  A hint:  take the risk of just 'being there':
Being There
By Debi L. Pettigrew

Do you know of someone
Whose precious child has died?
Perhaps she is a neighbor or friend
With whom you can confide.
You assume that she is suffering
A tragedy so deep,
That there is nothing you can do
Since all she does is weep.
You feel that if you see her
There is nothing you can say
That would make her precious child come back
Or make the pain go away.
And if by chance you meet her
And have to face her grief,
You'll do your very best
To make this meeting brief.
You'll talk about the weather
Or the lady down the lane,
But you'll never mention her child -
That would cause her too much pain!
And when the funeral's over,
And all is said and done,
You'll go home to your family,
And she'll be all alone.
She'll go on, she'll be all right, time heals -
Or so it seems,
While she's left alone to pick up the pieces
Of her shattered life and dreams.


You can open up your heart
And find that special place
Where compassion and true giving
Are awaiting your embrace.
"Today I'm thinking of you in a very special way,"
Or, how about "I love you!"
Are some loving things to say.
Sometimes a very simple task
Like picking up the phone,
Can help her feel not-so-quite
Desperately alone.
Whatever comes from a genuine heart
Cannot be said in vain
For the truth is, it's these very things
That lessen her great pain.
And when you let her talk about
Her child who is now dead,
You'll know this is far greater
Than anything you've said.
So will you reach out with all your soul
And let her know you care?
For in the end there's no substitute
For simply BEING THERE!